I am in mourning for one of my favorite actresses who died. Five years ago. Only I just found out last week. Hope Lange. She was only 72 years old when she died on 17 Dec 2003.

I first saw her in "The Ghost and Mrs. Muir" TV series, which to this day is the most romantic series I've ever seen. It ran for two seasons, 1968 - 1970 and Hope Lange won two Emmy's for her portryal of Mrs. Muir. It was the ultimate "we can never be together story line"...a living woman and a dead man's ghost. I fell in love with both the Captain and Carolyn Muir. Mostly their voices. And they had some great dialogue. Feisty and funny. I loved their chemistry together.

I was a teenager when the series ran, straddled between childhood and adulthood, with all the conflicting emotions and desires a teen feels. Carolyn Muir was a strong woman, a widow with two children, a boy about 7 and a girl, 9 years old. She supported herself as a writer, (though logic would suggest that she had a good size inheritance also, as she employed a full time housekeeper/cook, Martha Grant).

I was drawn to the Carolyn Muir character on several levels. On the one hand, she was the kind of mother I wanted, but didn't have. Strong, healthy, energetic, happy even in the face of adversity, spirited, able to stand on her own ... a wonderful role model. (This is not to disrespect my mom, who had many wonderful qualities.) And she had a career as a writer. Something I wanted to be but never voiced. Then there was the teenage girl in me who wanted boys to like her, be attracted to her and looked forward to being in love. The captain was so male, so handsome and so interesting to be around and converse with, and had such a sexy male voice. How could any female not fall in love with him? So I wanted to BE Carolyn Muir as well. To be the object of Captain Gregg's intense fascination.

Of course I have searched the internet for all the information I could find about the cast of the show. Edward Mulhare, the actor who played Captain Daniel Gregg is dead also (1997). So is that like dying twice? But I was fortunate enough to find some Wave files with dialogue from the shows which I loaded onto my iTunes...where I can click on Repeat and the clip will be played over and over and over...when I'm alone, lest I drive my sons crazy. How wonderful it is to hear their voices again. Be still my heart.